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Fred Gassit is written by Simon O'Leary. He retains full Copyright, wherever he is. These cartoons are therefore not allowed to be used for dead tree publications, wrapping Fish'n'Chips, using as emergency muffler packing, sold on the Russian Black Market in exchange for a new Mecerdes or for otherwise making large wodges of dough unless you get his permission first ....but they do look grouse stuck up on the Fridge!
Cut the Crap, I wanna go to the Freds....
(this site now Tripod hosted...but with no popups!!!)
Glossary Bin #5 (Jan 99) Bin #4 (Sep98) Bin #3 (Feb 98) Bin #2 (Nov97) Bin #1 (July 97)
 
23 Freds
   32-ish Freds      14 Freds..      13 Freds      21 Freds.
 80(ish) FREDS!

Some of you may be wondering "Who the hell is Fred Gassit?".

The adventures of Fred Gassit have been printed in Australian Motorcycle News (AMCN) every fortnight for the last 15-20 years. Recently he has been syndicated in the UK's Superbike magazine. However as Superbike  is a monthly, and  AMCN is fortnightly then the rest of the world gets half the Freds that we do here on Oz.
More proof that Australia is God's Own Country (this must be where he makes all those Harleys and Dukes).

Fred is the ultimate multiple personality; everchanging, everdifferent, he is ALL motorcyclists and yet, curiously, no specific one. In him we see aspects of every known category of biker, even some you didn't know, and most of them none too favourable.  He has appeared as everything from 'Fred -Russian Ice  Racing Star' to 'Fred - Customs Officer', the list is, so far, endless. He is the perfect biking antithero; he is as non-bikers see us and how some of us see ourselves. Have you ever seen those ghastly, hideous, 'centerfolds'  from Easyriders Magazine; where all the handsome, muscley, righteous Bro's roar across the Desert with their massive-breasted Ol' Ladies strapped to the back, like some vision of latter day cowboys (sounds of Bon Jovi swelling up in the background) ? Well, thats the Disease..............and Fred is the cure.

 I have added a page detailing some of the characters involved as well as a glossary of Aussie Slang, mostly for our semi-illiterate North American audience who may not be as familiar with some of our Aussie expressions.
Anyway..enough waffle..here's the bloody cartoons.


Techo Stuff - All pics are (with 1 or 2 exceptions) at least 1024 wide, any less and they get too pixelly and hard to read.
They are all GIFs, some were accidently interlaced, some not. This may cause some Browsers to misread some of the pictures and not display them...if this seems the case, save the invisible" cartoon to the Hard Drive and view from them via your favourite Grafx program. Try this one: http://www.acdsystems.com/
Last know photo of Fred...current whereabouts....unknown.

Gassit Bin #5
Glossary
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Bin #5
Bin #4
Bin #3
Bin #2 
Bin #1 
Aussie Tour Guide Fred
Fred screws the tourists in good old Aussie fashion

Fred the Biggest Bastard in Motorcycling
Mate, he is a BASTARD

Fred ponders...Biker or Bikie
thus Fred answers the question which vexes us most

Fred and his mate..Bondy
Alan Bond, Australias most famous entreupeneur, makes friends with fred

Freds Cat
Have we met Freds Cat before? Here he is.

John Citizen Fred
As if!

Amazingly Dumb Stories
Applies to ALL Freds Stories...

Fred, Trapped in motorcycle fantasy land
sounds good to me...

Fred the Hoon (mends his ways)
A permanent change, methinks not.

Fred and Joneseys best Hoon Tricks
Thats more like it.

Judge Fredd
Dispenses Justice

Fred and his mate, Kev Chirper
Another one of Freds mangy, rabid animal friends.

The little motorbike who could
A heartening story

Lonesome Bikie Fred
All together.....aaaahhhhhh.

Fred's Good Luck Day
You Lucky, Lucky Bastard..I dream....etc (insert Python sketch here)

Von Gassit, the nicest Nazi
WW2 as it really was.

Freds Racetrack
Wouldnt mind one meself

Fred asks, How good are ya at riding?
Is this the secret...is Fred really Allan Kirk in disquise.

Fred the Rookie Cop

Fred's Sausage Roll
When ya need a Sausage Roll, you NEED a Sausage Roll.

Bikie Teacher Fred
That'll larn ya! (THWACK)

Victim Fred
Don't be a Victim..be a Perpetrator...er..is that right.

Time Waster Fred
I HATE Time Wasters
 
 



Gassit Bin #4
Glossary
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Bin #5
 Bin #4
Bin #3
Bin #2 
Bin #1 
Pub Know-All Fred vs. The Nazzies
Fred battles the Evil Toy Nazi's for world domination..

King Fred
Where Fred decides to become a Wild Man in todays society.

Fred First Motorcyclist in Space
As it says....Fred joins the Space Program.

Fred Loses His Nerve
Ever 'had a skid'? Fred does...and then ..loses his nerve.

Not My Fault Fred
Aaaagh...it wasn't Fred's fault..he had a hair on his knob

Fred Gets to Ride a GP Bike.
Be careful Fred..because if you touch the throttle.

Easily Impressed Fred
Wow! Look at THAT!

Fred Advanced Rider Training
Keith Code is a Pussy!

Fred the illustrated Derro
Fagn Cahn, whathchafugginlookinat!

Old Codger Fred
Eee, yer yoong busstids, Ahl call t'fookin' wallpers!

Fred's Locking Panniers.
A thought to bring a tear  to the eys of all you BMW owners.

New Age Fred
huh!, yeah right!

Bad Luck Freddy
Fred doesn't get Tit-whipped...oh what bad luck!

Fred, Last of the Bikers
With the advent of the new millennia...this could be YOU!

Fred's Hero
Fred's mine...

Freds New Year Revolutions
Umm....not sure how to describe this one....suffice to say that Chinese Earwigs feature prominently (!)

Fred The Feisty Carrot Top
Ugh!...yuck...Carrot Tops.

Fred Conscience
Good vs. Evil, wonder which one wins

John Citizen Fred
joins the bikies...

Fred IS CAPTAIN SUDS
Your average low-grade Super Hero.

Fred Big Horn
Is this the cartoon all the ladeez have been waiting for???

Enforcer Fred
Agh!..the true story behind those Police Blitzes..

Fred the Mechanic
Mate, Mate, Mate, Mate, Mate...Mate (concerned looks)

Fred vs The Man
Fred fights the Law and the Law.......

Speed Demon Fred
Quick, call the Exorcist.

Trendy Fred
Us Aussie don't like you Trendy Buggers

Fred X-Ray Specs
I want a pair of these SOOOOOOO BAAADDDD!

Scaredy Cat Fred
Fred meets Big Black Dog

Reverend Fred The Revhead
From the church of the Redline

Belstaff Man!
Always gets his man...er..woman.

Fred and Hedgy
A sort of hate/hate relationship

Freds Tyre Mountain
John Denver could write beautiful songs about Freds Tyre Mountain, if he wsnt 3 inches thick and six feet under.



 


Gassit Bin #3

Glossary
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Bin #5
Bin #4
Bin #3
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Bin #1 
Fred the Ninja
Being a Ninja meself (Melbourne Chapter) I can really relate to this one. Fred the Ninja motorcyclist goes out for a night down the Pub with the boys.

Fred the Iceman
One of my All-Time Favourites. Fred the Iceman is discovered, unthawed and then sets out to investigate this strange new world.

Posh Bikie Fred
For all you Posh 916SP owning bastards, this is a look into a night out with you guys.

Bikie Baiter Fred
Fred the Good 'ol Boy tears into town to bait the bikers. Squeal like a Pig, Boy!

Aussie Customs Officer Fred
Fred, pride of Australia, teaches all you immigrant mongrels how to be a top Aussie.

Fred the Magician
The Riches to Rags to Riches story of Fred the Magician and muscley sidekick Luthar.

Russki Dissident Fred
An ancient Gassit from the Cold War Era. Fred  the Russian Ice Racing Champ becomes a dissident

Likeable Bikie Fred
In which Fred the Likeable Bikie is transformed into something completely different

The Human Face of Motorcycling
Fred presents the warm, compassionate, multi-hued face of Motorcycling.

Fred on Bikes
Fred pontificates on the meaning of 'Bikes'

Pommy Fred
Cor lumme, strike a light, this 'ere ones got sumfink for all'er yerz. Fred the Pommy Geezer even gets to meet Dr Who.

Fred, NOT a Motorcyclist
Fred is NOT, and I want to make this perfectly clear, a MOTORCYLIST, nosiree!

Saint Fred
God puts the hard word on Saint Fred to shape up or ship out. And in the last panel a fundamental element of the the motorcycling culture is finally revealed.

Fred the old Roue and his guide to womanising
A Classic Gassit that somehow got lost. If you fellas cant learn a thing or three about women from old Fred here I WOULD be surprised.



 


Gassit Bin#2

Glossary
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Bin #5
Bin #4
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The latest Gassit
Fred of the Jungle...not sure what Rangiora Leaves are (any Kiwis, help me out here) but I think you can safely substitute Poison Ivy or Dock Leaves (if I  remember my Youth in England correctly)

A Likely Story
In which Fred becomes Dictator of Aussie, bans cars, is ousted and eventually abducted by Alien sluts. A likely story!

Freds New Image
Fred DEMANDS Respect...and eventually gains it.

Fred Gives In
Little brother Jimmy begs to ride Freds new bike...with the inevitable quinsequonces.

Fred's $ponsor
Where Fred gets ever increasingly more desperate to gain those valuable sponsorship dollars.

King Fred of the Bikies
This one really impresses...especially the chase scene.

Fred the Rookie Cop vs The Cheeky Bikies
Whatever Simon is on....he was onto it big time this week....weird shit!

Freds Hooning School
Fred runs a school for motorcycle hoodlums (hoons)

Fred buys a Cruiser
Lets face it...when you get past it then its time to buy a cruiser

Hard to Impress Fred
Hmmpf...Aussie phlegmatic cycnism at its best...with a supoib ending! (and NO, phlegmatic does not involve a chest cold)

Freds Guvnor
Fred gets a guvnor...one of Simons more esoteric works

Fred buys a Bike
.....sfunny, thought he already had had one by now.

 FRED builds a bike [[ currently OFFLINE ]]
Fred builds a new Aussie Motorcycle (cashing in on the craze I reckon).
Not content to let Messrs Hunwick, Hallam, Drysdale and Britten hog the limelight Fred uses that well known Antipodean zest for innovation and engineering brilliance that has made Aussie/NZ cars and bikes what they are today (American or Japanese).



 
 

Gassit Bin #1

Glossary
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Bin #1
Fred "The Gun" Motorcycle Courier
Fred's shocking expose of the pain that lies behind the glitz and glamour of the Motorcycle Couriers life

Go for a burn with Fred (The Dangerous Rider)
One of his best, anyone whose been a pillion with some mad mate would empathise with this

Fred's Arse Up
Ever fallen off a bike? .....this one is for you (havent we all fallen off??)
An altered version of this (with my name) was given to me after a major stack...thanks guys

Fred goes by the book
Have you bought a new GSXR11 (or similiar) and read the owners handbook on how to use the clutch and to find out which lever is the brake? Maybe you should...just in case.

Fred the 1%er
Here Fred is a character straight out of the ego-building masturbatory fantasy that IS 'Easyriders' magazine.
Substitute the word 'Ned Kelly' for Jessie James or Dick Turpin as appropriate for your locale
Substitute the words "from Moree and Mudgee" to 'from nowhere to nowhere"

Hedgys Ideal Sheila
Here we see Hedgy in action with a Sheila. This clip has nudity and may offend woosy religous types
NOT for children

Boyscout Fred
Fred meets Lord Baden-Powell and receives some disciplining for his socio-pathic tendencies.

Country Fred
A complex intertwining plot involving Nazis, life sized Barbi Dolls and Trolls, set in the Australian farming backblocks.

Fred's Motorcycle Girlfriend
Scary...this one is too real!

Underpowered FRED You know what its like, all your mates have got Honda Blackbirds and all you have is a '97 GSXR1100, suffer the pangs of angst of being underpowered.

Never fallen off? Then you're a Motorcycle Virgin!

 101 REASONS TO BUY A CAR  Dont ride bikes, cos if you do then you're a temporary Aussie mate!

Stealth Kwaka The ONLY way to beat the Radar.

 GP Sabatour Goberts potential new job?

One for the Ladies (Less classic, more ancient....)

FRED the Panel Beater..but not the normal kind of panelbeater. Some of the more sensitive readers may be distressed to discover a hereto undiscovered side to Fred...be warned.

FRED wins Big at the Lotto....

Dauntless young FRED.....the working class GP hero

 Lets face....you're on a computer, reading about bikes....So what are ya? You're a GEEK  son, thats what!

Muslim Fred the Ayatollah

Nothings you're Fault.....its someone else fault..isnt it!



 


Glossary
TOP
Bin #5
Bin #4
Bin #3
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Bin #1 
 CLICK HERE to go to the
Glossary and Cast of Characters
Visit Fred and his crew (in COLOUR!) and read the Glossary of pertinent Aussie Slang!
 
 


Go to Fred Gassits Bikerama for lots of spicy bike pics and dull 'ol pictures of women with their fairings off.